My Key To The Past

by Ashley Cardenas
(Creston, Iowa, USA)

Ashes of a faded memory fall around me, a nightmare that haunts me night after night, and a goodbye that was never given.

Year 1999, my house goes up in flames, masking cries and sobs, my father's faded words still linger "always be strong, never let them see you cry, for they will use this against you in any way possible."

Even as they burned for the burden that was their own, I still do not cry.

I thought I found happiness again, my closest friend who conforted me, cried for me, bared for me. The one who truly cared after my lost feelings disappeared. I lived once more and loved my new found comfort.

But the law caught me, pushing me back to my blood line. I was legally belonging to my aunt, a kind loving woman who I trusted and loved, but wasn't home. My one friend let me go as I left half way across the country.

Months later, my comfort had settled once again. But my lonely heart had never healed. My 13th birthday came along and I was just as happy on the outside as I was on the inside. The smell of melted snow seeping into grass and dirt lingered in the air, reminding me of her.

I had no sanctuary, even alone, the world around me still moved faster then expected, leaving me behind. A box in the mail came from her. A rusted key once engulfed in flames on a black chain, and a note stating "I found it in your old house, ditching school to get lost in thought to focus on the lesson. I wandered there and thought of you.

You were right. The back door was always broken. I found the key in a pile of burnt books. I think it's to the one place you loved most. Your father's private study.

-Thoughts in eternity......................

The key was small and didn't look like much at all. But it filled the room with a thick remedy of memory, weakening my eyes. The first time since their death, I cried.